1. |
Self Insufficient
03:32
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feelin' sorry again
my selfishness, my soulessness
i keep fucking it up
i can't stop cuz i can't get out of bed
you are tearing me to pieces
choking on my lethargy
bite sized
so you can tear me apart
a little more
yellow ceilings empty thoughts
whiskey can't get my shit together
just one more excuse
i'll never be good enough for you
you can't help me help myself
when you only love yourself
i don't even feel fucking
weak-willed, dishonest
manipulative
all listed
well you lie when you say that you trust me
we all know i will never make you happy
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2. |
Destruction
03:07
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i looked into your eyes last night
you want me to yourself
but i don't even know myself
and you won't want a love like mine
show me how to push you away
even though i want to stay
if you only understood my destruction
looked you over in dim light
the way your body shines
the fetal way you move right in
when we broke the connection
you are freezing my destruction
i've needed somebody
who glows like you
to help me swallow the pieces of the soldier
that can't be swept away
i want you in ways i'll never say
i need to hide away
and i'm reeling at what i've lost
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3. |
Rotting Vacuum Meat Tree
03:04
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well i could try to be nice
and i could smile with my yellow crooked teeth
let all my imperfections slip around my feet
or i could stop and bite your tongue
hey i'm a bitch we have this covered
and i can't take the niceness all the time
i'm bitter and i'll take it out on everyone
til i am wrong and rooted to the floor
i wanna love myself
i wanna be a good mother
i wanna eat my unborn children
maybe i should blame it on the coat hanger
stickin' out of my eye
i got dragged from one hell hole to another
i'm still screaming
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4. |
Taste of Spring
03:17
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into the alley
lit up for christmas still
i was 14 the first time
now older and wiser
on a couch in conversation
double vodka in a pint glass
through all the faces
yours still shines
walk into the sunrise
barely there breeze just blowing strands
and it feels so good to be back
i am not myself when you are gone
we'll sit together
tiny tables
candles blown out
martini after purple martini
locked inside
the secret against the tiles
warm and breathing
through laughter and real smiles
you keep disappearing
in dim light you do another line
i'm lying in your arms as you read on and on
in the morning we'll fuck again
i'll leave you twisted in the sheets
no worries, just love me
i promise i won't interfere
it's never been this warm in december
and it feels so good to be back
i am not myself when you are gone
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5. |
Atomic War
04:28
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when i was a little boy
you were already a mountain
i put myself
right in you
inside
well did you have to lie
lookin' right into me?
i wasn't good enough
for you
inside
i want you to be inside
and i know you're not in this like before
all your excuses
they show
i fell too fast
but how could you use me?
are these sparks just war
to you?
inside
i want you to be inside
and i know you're not in this like before
all your expressions
they show
i wanna dig my heels into your sides
you have no fucking right to want to go
ponies
you tell me nothing's changed for you
well i thought you said it was getting better
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6. |
Prove Me Wrong
04:15
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oh but you have proved yourself
as you compare me
belittle me
you try to make it wound
i'm deceived by you
and i wonder
what i've done to deserve this
such a sweet thing with razors for words
razors for words
prove me right
you proved me right
aren't you just that perfect light
comin' to me from inside
to prove me right
i had been so enthralled by you
every touch and i held you up so high
i'd never expect
you'd be raining hateful down upon me
your gentle innocence
is a fucking fraud
prove yourself
you compare me
belittle me
you sweet fucking thing
you proved yourself you're just a fraud
you're just a fraud like everyone
the hateful stings
the emptiness rings
and did it have to end like this?
you proved me right
aren't you just that perfect light
coming to me from inside
to prove me right
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7. |
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8. |
Your Storm
03:30
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like fire to ice you melt me through
i struggle not to succumb
we're merging into one
i'm in your storm
in the center of your hurricane
like clay you warm in my hands
now i'm in the eye
i'm drowning in your thighs
i'm in your storm
swore i'd never fall for love
i'd rather fall to the ground
but how could i turn away
when you're around
i'm in your storm
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9. |
Satyr
03:33
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your voice is in my head
shaking me up
and it's something like fire
til it sinks in
really creepin'
suddenly i'm such a child
cryin' out for wanting
why don't you fill me up?
it's feeding time
i'm not alone in here
we are fucking to believe
there are two that you can't see
we fuck and fuck to believe
there are two that you can't see
"if i were awake," she said
"i think i'd be just fine
i think i'd find my way
back down the hill"
cuz i don't really know myself
i don't really love myself
i don't even know myself
i don't really love myself
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10. |
No Songs Start With N
04:06
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see your smile, warm me up
where's the fire that's his alone?
i wanna burn right down
i inhale tension
i'm always cryin' to myself
there's no one in eyes
i have seen it before
don't break me down
i won't force it out
i will shut my mouth
you undress by the window
he lays down in my mind
softly you whisper
"this isn't working"
no, this is not the same
and i fall so short every time
but in our bed it is different
with bare flesh and no lights
i will shine
will i serve you better in the dark?
will we both feel better
before the morning's past?
i could lie forever
take these fragments in my arms
holding onto moments of wonder
i will
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11. |
Audio Pornography
04:15
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sit next to me in the hot dark
your fingers brush my hair back
tellin' me i'm strong and solo
he barely wants me anymore
pull away from my porcelain doll
it smells like rainstorms in here
and you are beautiful
i'll crawl into bed with the one that i love
my goddess woman
soul, child
do you want to be my muse?
your words are audio pornography
drowning even the wanting
that i've had for years
i've felt so buried but i'll be good
he's waiting for me so i should try again
music thick, cement wet
i wish i didn't have to go
pull me close and tell me more
kiss me twice to make me understand
it hurts like audio pornography
and i want you
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12. |
Cheers to Rock Stars
03:47
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once again i find myself
beer in hand
the sky unfolding your gorgeous view
the people fade to nothing
the guitar is ringing
and the sun is setting in bands of pink and gold
you're back inside
into the breathing between two
leave me unknowing
what have i done?
back in those arms
on this couch in my boots
i'm feeling sweet
and the streets they feel like nothing
with your stars in view
the bells and whistles
your smile unending
descending into me
i've never seen you in this light
we're going back inside so deep
and i'm screaming and breathing into you
saying "what have i done?"
in those arms
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13. |
Motherfucking Rainbows
06:00
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i want to eat you for supper right now
with two gloves on one hand
smash away at lies
and calendars and lives
i'm holding on for something more
i wanna fucking break you
there's nothing i can do
so i'm going to have to break you
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